Extreme Contradiction

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For those of us who struggle day-to-day, yes, we can have support from friends and family if we need to, support from an employer, support from counsellors, hell, I am sure somebody living on the high-street would talk to us, if we really needed them to.

I can, and do comprehend the intended meaning and support behind this phrase; it’s comforting, warming, and reassuring to those who take it literally – it’s a realisation that there are people around them who can provide help, support and advice when it’s really needed.

“…misconstrued from reality”

This is where I believe the ‘extreme contradiction’ lies, because we are alone with our thoughts, senses, mind and feelings, however, for our own sanity, we aren’t alone physically. We just cannot ‘escape’ our own mind, the power it has over our bodies is something extremely unique and sometimes forceful; in some ways, we are powerless to do what we truly want to do. Our brains are restricting us.

The best example I can think of at this very moment, is when you want to go the gym. Your body feels like it wants to work out, it has an urge to get moving and get pumping, but your head says otherwise – “nah, not today Sam.”

So, we are alone, but we aren’t? Do you see the contradiction here? I think it does depend on your ‘mental state’ – Maybe if I wasn’t battling my ‘dark clouds’ on a weekly basis then I wouldn’t feel this way, it might not even enter my mind, yet it’s powerful enough and means that much to me that I’ve spent the first 3 hours of my Sunday morning tapping away at this keyboard.

For me, solidarity in mental health carries the utmost important, I think it’s fair to say it’s probably contributed to my continued presence on earth, if you catch my drift! (I don’t want to be too dark!). In hindsight, I think I felt ashamed of the feelings I had revolving around this sensitive topic. I was worried I wouldn’t be understood, wouldn’t be heard and wouldn’t be accepted as someone who is ‘normal’. To a certain extent, I do sometimes feel like that these days, almost 20 years later, but it’s got a hell of a lot better.

As I write this blog, and read over it section by section, I do see a hint of negativity, but I feel this can be misconstrued from reality. It’s not all doom and gloom when I write blogs, I promise!