“Earlier this year, in 2026, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which often goes hand in hand with connective tissue disorders. Suddenly, the reason why my brain works the way it does became clear. The diagnosis was like a light bulb moment. It felt like I could start being my real self without having to wear a mask all the time.”
An Absent Father
I have spent my whole life fighting to find my place. I have been knocked down again and again, yet every time I got back up, I became stronger.
That stubborn streak has carried me through more than I ever realised I would face.
My father left my mum when I was only four months old, and our relationship has always been rocky. He was never there when it counted. He missed competitions, graduations and milestones, yet somehow always found a way to make it my fault. My mum, on the other hand, was, and still is, my rock.
Without her, I would not be where I am today.
Early Struggles
Growing up, I was one of the weird kids. The kind who gets bullied throughout school. I was even a weirdo to the weirdos and never quite fitted in anywhere. People called me the teacher’s pet, though I never saw it that way. I didn’t know then that I was dyslexic, dyspraxic and had ADHD. I struggled with schoolwork, and building relationships with teachers was the only way I could ask for the extra help I needed.
“… my small group of “friends” told me over Skype that they no longer wanted to be my friends.”
Two teachers became mentors to me, and I will always be grateful for how they believed in me. Adults felt safer than the other kids. I felt seen with them.
Towards the end of Year Ten, my small group of “friends” told me over Skype that they no longer wanted to be my friends. They said I was selfish, stuck up and never listened, even though I was always the one who showed up for them. They were annoyed that I talked about my hobbies, as if sharing passions with friends was somehow wrong. I must have missed the friendship rulebook somewhere.
Year Eleven was lonely, but it gave me time to focus on my schoolwork, and I passed every subject.
A Difficult Time in Education
College was different. I found a small group of people who became my group. Yes, we were still the weirdos, but we had each other’s backs. We were there because we wanted to be there. We studied Outdoor Adventure, and although the name-calling and exclusion still happened, it was easier to face with friends beside me.
University was tricky. I was older than most of the students but younger than the mature ones. There were three of us who stuck together until one became ill and dropped out, leaving just me and one other lass. I got on with most of the others, but there was a huge divide in social standing. We were not part of the “in” crowd. We didn’t do parties or nights out. That was never our scene.
During high school, I was diagnosed with Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder after several close calls where bones should have broken but didn’t, and after years of widespread pain that never stayed in one place. It was dismissed as growing pains until a physio recognised it. Navigating this during college and uni became a challenge, especially with sports.
“It is a whole-body condition, not just bendy joints.”
Water sports were the worst. I would get looks from people who thought I was using it as an excuse, but what they didn’t realise was that I would have done anything to keep up with them. My diagnosis was one of the main reasons I chose my degree. I knew that one day my body might not support the lifestyle I lived, and I wanted something to fall back on.
Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder affects the body’s collagen. I don’t have enough of the sticky stuff that holds humans together properly. It affects tendons, ligaments, muscles, bones, organs and more. It is a whole-body condition, not just bendy joints.
Becoming My ‘Real Self’
In 2023, everything seemed to fall apart at once. My dog tore both ACLs, my van kept breaking down, and the stress took me off my feet. After that, my symptoms became much worse. It took several doctor visits and a lot of fighting to be heard before I found a doctor who finally listened. That doctor diagnosed me with fibromyalgia, and I began the journey of understanding yet another condition.
“It felt like I could start being my real self…“
Fibromyalgia is basically a glitch in how the nervous system processes pain. The brain turns the volume up on signals from the body, so normal aches or strains feel much bigger than they are. Because of that, things like hyper-mobility pain can set the whole system off, creating widespread pain, fatigue, brain fog and all the other fibro symptoms. The two conditions trigger each other.
Earlier this year, in 2026, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which often goes hand in hand with connective tissue disorders. Suddenly, the reason why my brain works the way it does became clear. The diagnosis was like a light bulb moment. It felt like I could start being my real self without having to wear a mask all the time.
Reflecting
Over the years, I have faced the stigma and misunderstanding that comes with these diagnoses. I have waded through every challenge they threw at me, from pain and fatigue to brain fog and emotional overwhelm. I have been told I am too young to be in pain, that I should wait until I am older before I complain. I have been told to try yoga more times than I can count.
People have told me I should be grateful that I’m not worse off, and that I don’t look as though I am in pain. Passing comments like those have lasting effects.
I have learned that staying active helps. The more I move, the stronger I am and the less pain I feel. But if I get injured, I am out for a while, and getting moving again becomes hard. It’s a vicious cycle. I have recently started doing strengthening exercises, and I am already seeing a difference. I am getting better at listening to my body, too.
“I am in charge of my own fate. Only I can make a difference for myself.”
I also had a food intolerance test that showed I am intolerant to sweet potato, cow’s milk and wheat. Since cutting those out in July, I have noticed huge differences in my inflammation and overall well-being. I am still learning to manage my emotions and tension, as I know there is a link between my stress and my pain. It is a work in progress.
Last year, I walked away from a small friendship group. We bonded over similar diagnoses, but eventually it became the only thing we talked about. It turned into a competition over who had the worst week or the strongest medication. The environment became toxic with negativity.
I have weeks where everything feels heavy, but I always come back to the fact that I am in charge of my own fate. Only I can make a difference for myself.
New Relationships
Cutting contact with my father was one of the scariest but most liberating things I have ever done.
Since finding myself, I have found my people too. I have an incredible partner who is understanding and grounding. He is the tether who keeps me steady. I have friends who accept me for who I am and who showed up for my birthday in July.
And then there is the dog I rescued in 2022. She was one of the best decisions I ever made. Having a dog is a lot of work and effort, but it gave me a reason to get up every morning. She keeps me active, and she was a companion for when I was living on my own. I always strived to give her a better life, which meant I was working on myself too.
Anayah
Because of her, and the support of my family, I am now becoming a qualified dog trainer and pet photographer, a calling I never saw coming but one I am grateful I tried. Because of my experiences, I am a better teacher for it. I know that each situation is different, and that everyone will learn in different ways.
Becoming a trainer has made me such a better person. I am more understanding, empathetic and confident. I even went travelling in a van with my dog, just the two of us, twice! Once to Ireland for the West Coast, and then we did the N500 route around Scotland, something I don’t think I would have attempted without her as a companion.
Anayah saved me more than I ever could have saved her, and she will always be the paw behind the business, which I love.
“You can never stop trying…”
I also have an incredible job working for a project farm where people with SEN are able to interact with the animals around the farm, grow their own food and become a part of a community. I am one of the animal staff, so I get the best of both worlds. I get to work with incredible people and care for animals who have become as much a part of my family as Anayah and my two rabbits have.
I have tried so many things in the past. Some fell through, some bored me, some failed. But the dog training and pet photography make all of those failures worth it.
You can never stop trying, because if you do, you may never reach the thing you didn’t even know you were striving for.
And if you are so focused on your past or fearing the future, you will miss the here and now.
Being present is one of the most important skills you can learn.
To All Other Readers
If someone else is reading this, no matter what life throws at you, you are worth your own trust and love. Working on yourself is as important, if not more so, as building relationships with other people.
The moment you stop living for other people and living for yourself, life suddenly improves. Its freeing, empowering, and its more than okay to put yourself first and set boundaries.
Hollow Ember | Odd One Out
I feel like that explains the entire post in one song really.
The Gibbons House: Dog Training and Photography
Here is a link to my dog training page, feel free to take a look and follow me.
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