Trying To Be Someone Else
I have struggled with coping with ‘normal’ life – managing money, comparing myself to others, and a major struggle with people-pleasing. Because of this, I’ve often felt like I haven’t known who I am or what I want to be, because I’ve spent so much time being who I think others want me to be.
I’ve always kept things quiet and then exploded when it all gets too much. I ran away at 12, bunked off school, college and work – not out of laziness, but because I felt overwhelmed. This always came with the frustration of not being able to “just get on with it.”
I’ve ended up in hospital after purposeful overdoses, the first when I was 17, and then again in July 2025.
At 27, I also started self-medicating, which continued for five months.
Why not go pink?
Understanding My Brain
One good thing to come from that was finding out I have ADHD, after the effects of my self-medicating were noticed. This then led to legal medication, group DBT, and me self-referring for addiction support.
“I started being me.”
I’d like to say I was brave enough to admit I had an addiction problem – but I got found out. Once my loved ones knew, though, I got the help I needed to sort out my finances, remove bad influences, and find work that suited my brain – and, most importantly, I started being “me.”
Me and my cousin
Finally Being Me
It has been genuinely freeing to feel comfortable enough to be myself around people — not having to mask or worry about what I say, think or how I act. I can just let them see me – and love me for me.
Getting a puppy and being partly responsible for him, alongside my partner, has also been a massive driving force for me.
“… embrace your amazing uniqueness!”
Through therapy, I’ve learned to communicate openly and realise that my brain is wired the way it is, and that’s part of who I am. It doesn’t mean I’m dysfunctional – I’m just unique!
I’m also fortunate to have an amazing and supportive family, which I understand isn’t everyone’s circumstances.
But don’t give up! You’re not dysfunctional – embrace your amazing uniqueness!