The Year of the Fire Horse: Story 41

When The Shock Took Over

This is a poem I recorded on a voice memo over 4 months ago on 22nd February 2026, and I’ve called it “The Year of the Fire Horse”.

It’s about shock and I wrote it while I was experiencing being “in shock” fully embodied for the first time . I was in and out of this state for three days , and I channeled this poem on the second day as an alternative to bracing myself through it.

The Shock Of Betrayal

The shock was a result of a conversation with an ex boyfriend where I discovered what I perceived at the time as him and someone I thought was a close friend of mine betraying me.

After writing this poem I realised that the betrayal I was shocked by was not his , or hers. I had betrayed myself by staying in a situation where I felt no sense of true belonging , fulfilment or value and silenced myself throughout because I believed I should be grateful.

Choosing Myself

I was shocked because deep down I KNEW and raised it so many times and yet continued to neglect my relationship with myself to pursue a relationship with someone else.

I realised that each time I chose compassion for someone else OVER compassion for myself , I abandoned a part of myself. FEELING the shock that I’d suppressed so hard turned out to be the most empowering thing I’d ever done for myself.

Here she is:

🐴🔥

My body went numb
From head to toe
My soul wanted to leave
But The Voice said “No”

“Allow us to breathe
Allow us to be
We’ve been here before
There’s no need to flee”

“Now, we’re fire horses
Our shedding is done
We’re in divine timing
We don’t have to run”

“The shame is not ours
Only the shock
And this time my love
WE are our rock”

My heart is my anchor
My soul is my fire
My body my truth
And my fear a liar

See maybe the shock
Actually might
Be a bird that’s been caged
And finally takes flight

“Oh! We have wings!
Wow! It’s so bright!
How can I be?
Up here at this height!”

I am finally free
From the lies that were told
From the secrets kept
And that toxic hold

Of those wicked claims
That made me feel small
And made me believe
I knew nothing at all

Now it’s time
To trust myself
Put down some roots
Attend to my health

As I orbit my purpose
Embrace this wild ride
Embody my soul
Because I. Am. ALIVE!