The Friends We Lost
I didn’t think much about mental health myself until 2010, when a close school friend took his own life. It shook our whole friendship group. Some of us still carry that feeling that we could have done more, or at least noticed more.
For a while it pulled everyone together – different groups of his friends merging, supporting each other. I remember sitting at his grave months later with a few of them, and one of the lads said, “I wonder who will be next.” Nine months later, that same friend was hit by a train. A year after that, we lost another.
“Nine months later, that same friend took their own life.”
Our generation wasn’t taught how to deal with grief like that. No one showed us how to recognise the signs, how to listen properly, or how to speak up. We were left to figure it out ourselves, and most of us didn’t have the tools. I spent years trying to cope in my own ways, and eventually through counselling.
I Needed To Try To Help Others
Then one night, doing a night feed with my newborn, something just clicked. I decided I couldn’t keep sitting with all of it – I needed to try to help others. So I created Saved. It was an online community, very similar to what you’re building now, and it took off fast. We were flooded with stories and messages.
Photo credit: Razvan Sassu (Unsplash)
We brought people together, ran community training sessions on suicide awareness and prevention, linked up with national groups, built a volunteer team across the country.
“We heard from kids, adults, parents, even celebrities. It became huge.”
What surprised me most was how many people just needed a place to talk. A place where they weren’t judged, where they weren’t told to “get over it,” where they could say the things they’d been carrying for years. Saved became that space. People found each other, supported each other, and in some cases genuinely saved each other.
Don’t Give Up
Eventually it became too much for me personally. Around the time a parent reached out about their 12‑year‑old taking their own life, my sister‑in‑law did too.
I handed Saved over to the volunteers, many of whom went on to start their own groups. But I know for a fact that some of them felt Saved had saved their lives, given them purpose, and helped them save others.
“… don’t give up.”
So I guess my story isn’t really a story – it’s just me saying: don’t give up. What you’re doing is important. Push forward with it.
