When Everything I Knew Was Ripped Away
I have struggled with anxiety and depression for three years now and also have PTSD. This all goes back to when my husband left our marriage of 20 years.
I had three children to raise, a house, a job, a car and finances to deal with. This had me sink into depression. I love my children, but at the time I thought, how can I go on? The life I had known since I was 18 had been ripped away.
“How can I go on?”
Depression is a lonely, hollow and quiet, empty place to be. I suffered anxiety attacks and heart palpitations, which then left me with a heart condition that I still battle now. This was brought on by trauma.
I Opened the Door and Let Them In
Over time, I built a life where I realised I could do this and I was not alone. I had my family and friends, who I had shut out, but I opened the door and let them in.
I sought medical advice and support, and I took each day as it came. Over time, the days did not feel so heavy. I found myself laughing again, but truly laughing, not faking it and putting on my mask.
Learning to Love Me Again
I think the most important thing was learning to love me again. This is where I became fierce, strong and independent, and built a life that I am so proud of.
Climbing out of that hole was not easy, but I know you have to be gentle with yourself. To me, it felt like I was grieving someone I had lost, and the worst part was they were still there.
Life now is exactly where I want it to be. I have good days and bad days, but you have to take the rough with the smooth and be gentle with yourself. Let those who love you in and remember that you are loved.
