Our Human Similarities
We all wear masks, metaphorically speaking. Whether they are ‘worn’ for as little as 1 second, or a vast period of time like an entire lifetime, I believe we all wear masks, at some point or another, whether we believe it or not.
The term mask is defined as a ‘figurative concealment’ – a pretence, facade or action that hides someone’s true feelings, identity or ignorance.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
If we delve into anybody’s personal life, particularly those who struggle with their mental health, more often than not, we find a facade hiding how they are really feeling. It’s a way of masking what’s going on beneath the surface.
How many times have you heard someone say, “Yeah, I’m fine”?
However, every single person on this planet wears some form of mask – nobody tells the truth 100% of the time, I think it’s just an impossibility. There will always be something we want to hide from somebody, because that’s what makes things ‘personal’, and sometimes, in certain situations, it’s easier to not tell the truth.
Photo credit: Mick Haupt (Unsplash)
We are not ‘lying’ to others with any intention of deception or malice. Sometimes, there are simply things we would rather keep to ourselves.
Even though some of the fundamentals of being human are social connection, honesty and integrity, sometimes metaphorically wearing a mask can alleviate all sorts of social pressures. These might include fear of judgement, comparing ourselves to others or suppressing our own personality traits simply to ‘fit in’.
Why So Serious?
Telling a few white lies or ‘porkies’ under your mask isn’t really going to damage you as a person. But when those ‘porkies’ start turning into big, fat, pot-bellied pigs, that’s when problems begin to arise and things can quickly become out of control.
What starts as telling lies to somebody else can very quickly spiral into something much more dangerous. You end up lying to yourself about things that have a real impact on your life; work, relationships, goals, physical wellbeing, family, friends and, of course, possibly the most important one of them all; our mental wellbeing.
“I’m struggling, I need some help.”
I’m not going to simply ask, “Why are you hiding how you really feel?” because, from personal experience, I know how incredibly hard it can be to tell people how you are really feeling. The fear of judgement and shame can certainly outweigh the ability to just blurt out, “I’m struggling, I need some help.”
We don’t want to burden others, we don’t want to cause any problems, and we don’t want to unload our mental struggles onto anybody else because it doesn’t seem fair. We certainly don’t want to tell others things that might make us feel weak, unstable, fearful or judged. As men and women, we feel we should be stronger.
The Social Media Mask
The introduction of social media in the early 21st century has been a gigantic catalyst for mask-wearing. More people wear them now than ever before. Since humans first walked this earth some 300,000 years ago, we’ve never had (as a ratio of mask-wearers to the overall population, so the comparison isn’t biased) as many ‘maskers’ as we do in today’s world.
We are literally the creators of many of our own mental health struggles.
Don’t get me wrong, not everybody struggles with social media, but so many people do. Hell, I struggle, and I’m an advocate for mental health, writing this very blog. The irony!
In all honesty, I don’t find it too bad myself, but when it’s taken to extremes, and you repeatedly see the same sort of content, you can start to see how it becomes extremely addictive.
Mark Zuckerberg, Meta’s CEO, has faced legal action over allegations that the platforms his company controls have harmed children. If that’s not a sign that social media can have a seriously negative impact on us, I don’t know what is!
Slowly Peeling Off Your Mask
It’s all about being true to yourself.
How do you really feel, and what do you really want?
Don’t worry about being a burden to other people. Don’t worry that everything won’t be fixed in a day or two (because it won’t!), and certainly try not to worry about others judging you. Hell, they’ll probably judge you anyway, whether you stay quiet and keep things to yourself or not. People are people, so you can’t win either way!
“How do you really feel, and what do you really want?”
What I mean is, focus and concentrate on you, for once. If you knew you were going to die in the next few months, wouldn’t you be a little braver and take your mask off more often?