Don’t Hide From The Monotony
The hardest thing about mental health is pretending you’re feeling okay when you just aren’t. That’s half the battle. Putting on that smile and saying “yeah I’m alright” is mind-numbingly monotonous.
It’s become a default setting for me, when I’m in a low mood at work and I can foresee people asking me how I’m feeling, I almost envisage the moment I tell them my response; it gives me anxiety because it’s an immediate reminder than I am NOT okay. It’s a reflex action, after so many years, it just comes out, and the recipient is non the wiser.
After decades of struggling and ups and downs with my ‘dark clouds’, as mentioned in a previous post, it’s time to share with people how I feel. I’ve tried many remedies over the years and blogging is the one thing which helps me vent, even as I type these very words, I can feel a small, significant weight lifting from my shoulders, almost like a small release of dopamine.
The feel-good effects of blogging give me a tremendous sense of purpose. For me, this is a real achievement – primarily because I’m trying to help myself and manage my mental health as best I can. But beyond that, I’m also spreading my own personal words around the world in the hope that one day they might be strong enough to stop just one person from succumbing to the dark clouds.
Resonating With Thousands
As I’ve grown older (38 as of February 2026), I’ve realised that life for some people just feels tough; no matter what they do, no matter how hard they love, no matter how hard they work, they always seem to succumb to mental health.
From the outside looking in, it might look like they’re living their best life, but believe me, this is not the case at all. Perception is the key, what you see is never the full story; we all have our demons.
The pressure to simply perform in life can sometimes feel insurmountable. It stops feeling feasible altogether. There are so many things we’re expected to do well at – work, socialising, paying bills, being present for family, keeping fit, eating well, going on holiday, and so much more – that it can start to feel impossible to manage it all.
You might call this emotional burnout. But the important thing to remember is that it’s a state, not an identity. A state is changeable, an identity feels fixed; and that distinction matters. Time will pass, things will inevitably change, and it will get better, fact.
The only thing stopping us from overcoming mental health struggles is our own minds — and the fact that it’s our minds that make us this way in the first place is undeniably paradoxical.
Why Are Expectations So High?
We live in a constantly changing world, one where expectations never seem to stop, and we’re rarely satisfied with what we have. Don’t get me wrong – some of you reading this may feel content, able to live fully in the moment, freely, without overthinking. But for others, especially those with certain mental health challenges, this can be more difficult.
There seems to be an unspoken standard of “human performance” we’re expected to meet, a certain level of achievement or lifestyle we’re meant to attain. Add to that the competitiveness fueled by social media, and it can feel like we’re constantly battling to look and appear our best – at least online.
This way of living – especially for me – is simply exhausting. Having constant emotional and psychological battles going on in my head, whether it’s from trying to live up to expectations set by social media, family, friends, work, or even myself, just isn’t sustainable for a long period of time for anyone.
Our brains can only cope with a certain amount of ‘abuse’, and once they’ve suffered enough torment and torture, through the medium of mental health, they just want to give up.
If we’re not careful, the light at the end of the tunnel will diminish, indefinitely.